


do you ever wonder

by takakoyaki



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takakoyaki/pseuds/takakoyaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shorter fic based on a quote by Jr. when he said he felt like crying during the 2nd year anniversary of JJ Project's debut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you ever wonder

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raegrayson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raegrayson/gifts).



It is two years since JJ Project debuted, today, and it doesn’t even amount to half the time that Jaebum has known Jinyoung.

Jaebum knows more than anyone how much love Jinyoung has to give, how badly he wants to give it and be loved in return. He knows more than anyone how much Jinyoung has grown up since the old days, but he also knows how deeply some things still hurt him. He knows because he feels it too, even if he doesn’t know how to show it.

The kids don’t say anything when Jinyoung barely touches his dinner and leaves the table silently, retreating into the hallway with a sullen look on his face. They all know that no one can do much of anything when he gets like this.

No one besides Jaebum, anyway.

Jaebum gets up out of his chair as well, but not before giving an apologetic look towards Youngjae, who nods wordlessly. He doesn’t need to be told to give them some space. Not today.

When Jaebum goes down the hall, the door to his and Youngjae’s room is slightly ajar.

“Jinyoung-ah?”

The door creaks open slowly as Jaebum peeks in. By Jinyoung Standards things don’t seem all too bad right off the bat—he’s not crying, but lying rather listlessly on his side on Jaebum’s bed facing the wall. He doesn’t move or otherwise respond when Jaebum calls out to him.

Jaebum goes over and sits next to him, the routine familiar but never old. He reaches out and puts his hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder.

“I’m here,” he says simply. “Talk to me.”

There’s a lengthy, still silence, but finally Jinyoung slowly moves his hand to cover the one that Jaebum placed on his shoulder. It feels cold and clammy, and Jaebum feels a stab of guilt in his chest even though he knows that he doesn’t _have_ to be responsible for this, too; he just _wants_ to be.

“Sorry,” Jinyoung says finally, and to Jaebum’s relief his voice sounds tired but not miserable. “I just need to mope a little.”

“I know.” Jaebum rubs Jinyoung’s shoulder. He doesn’t pull him into his arms, not yet, but it’s hard not to.

As if reading his mind, Jinyoung shifts a little and peeks over at Jaebum. “I’m not scared like I was last year, but part of me is still worried. And… I still wonder sometimes, y’know?”

“I do. I really do,” Jaebum answers without hesitation.

He does know what it’s like to wonder, so much that he’s often surprised at himself. What if he had been good enough, back then? He has told himself continuously, rationally, that it’s not a failure that they’re in GOT7, because if they had really failed they wouldn’t be here at all. It’s just the way things worked out, and they did work out. Plus, he wouldn’t give up any one of the other five for anything, and he knows Jinyoung wouldn’t either. But only the two of them will ever really understand what it’s like to have to debut again.

Jinyoung turns over fully to look at him now, and Jaebum knows he’s stayed in quiet thought for too long by the way Jinyoung’s gaze pierces him.

“I meant it,” Jinyoung says softly, reaching out and tugging the fabric of Jaebum’s shirt sleeve. “When I said before that I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Jaebum finds himself smiling, despite everything. “I made it this far because I had you, too.”

Jinyoung tugs more on his sleeve, insistently. Jaebum acquiesces, leans down and kisses him. It’s reassuring and slow, and he feels the tension that had gripped Jinyoung previously gradually dissolve underneath him. They don’t have to worry about being interrupted tonight, though apparently Jinyoung is still a little anxious because he breaks the kiss far too soon for Jaebum’s liking.

“Youngjae’s not going to come in here?” he asks, looking at Jaebum probingly.

Jaebum frowns at Jinyoung’s doubt, causing Jinyoung to grin mischievously.

“Of course he isn’t,” Jaebum says in as much of a ‘who do you think I am, honestly’ sort of voice as he can manage. “He can sleep in your room or the manager hyungs' empty bunk tonight.”

Jinyoung smiles even more at this. “He’s such a good boy.”

There’s a pause before Jinyoung looks up at Jaebum again. His face is more mature now, but his eyes are as wide and unsure as when Jaebum first met him, which right now seems like so very long ago.

“You’re never going anywhere, right?”

Jinyoung knows the answer already, and Jaebum knows he knows. It doesn’t matter.

“Never.”

Jaebum runs his fingers down Jinyoung’s cheek and says it in the exact same voice he always tells him ‘I love you.’ He wonders to himself if Jinyoung notices how much he means it, every single time.

When Jinyoung pulls him down for another kiss, sealing the promise between them for the hundredth, the thousandth time, Jaebum is reminded again that he does.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware this is commonly addressed by fandom already, and I think it's sort of wonky on the chronology... but I just had to after I read that interview.


End file.
